South Brakota: Year one of an unusual merge

September 7 is Raphael's and my one year anniversary. (It is also Brazil's Independence Day. I'm sure there's some irony there somewhere.) 12 months ago he captured my heart when I saw him drive up to my place in his red beetle. He jumped onto the driveway and I was quite smitten. The guy looked like a million dollars in his white shirt, vest and tight black slacks. My heart rate increased immediately and the rest is history.

It's been quite a year. We moved in together, traveled to Brazil and found a shared appreciation for the color red and 'Dexter' (how odd that they would go together so well.) He has learned to tolerate my political rants and I have learned to be patient with his confusion concerning American satire. Where he comes from, you don't skewer your political figures quite so openly. There are no Bill Mahers or Steven Colberts.

Raphael and I find each other equally exotic yet our backgrounds both share sexy guys on horseback. (Gauchos on his end and the Dakota cowboy for me.) And yes, I believe it was foreshadowing that I wore a pair of Gaucho pants to school in 1971. Never mind that they belonged to my mother. When I found them in her bedroom, I thought they were an early birthday gift she had left unwrapped for me...Oh a confusão!

I lucked out on the food wheel of fortune. My Brazilian is a great cook and every night I sit down to my own installment of 'Top Chef.' The same cannot be said about me. (However, I am amazed what one can do with Spam, a blender and a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos....magic!) My cleaning up efforts are commendable. I specialize in 'shiny' and do it quite well. He is also an avid fashionista and has helped me considerably with outfit abnormalities. I can now run to Walgreen's for multiple vitamins and Grape-nuts and look fabulous. We don't always agree on music but I love that his is so important to him. His IPods have more songs than Sao Paulo has occupants. I enjoy hearing him sing Samba favorites while he makes me quiche. It can be very sweet. The Carmen Miranda hats are a bit much while slaving over a stove but that's his choice. His face turns a bit ashen when he walks in from work and I am listening to Gillian Welch or some other Alt-country/rock/folk artist. Brazilians aren't really wired for anything Nashvilleish. Wait til he catches me listening to the hardcore stuff like Blue Grass. That might be a deal breaker.


The guy is also an amazing salesperson and should be negotiating rainbow pride accessories/ manufacturing deals between the US and emerging third world gay populations. He could sell sand to Bedouins. If we ever buy a house, a car or barter for an African baby, he will be very handy. I lucked out with having such a cutie too. Still, I am jealous that he has a lot more hair and better legs. On the other hand, my parallel parking skills are exceptional. However, my skill level of knowing how to separate the recycleables; possibly getting up by noon and making a fairly good cup of coffee are superior.

He also puts up with my need to sing karaoke from time to time. I have a tendency to pick inappropriate ballads for the wrong crowd. Performing 'Good Morning Heartache' between two guys singing drunken renditions of 'Poker Face' and 'Highway to Hell' doesn't go over too well.

Both of us are big fans of Chelsea Handler. We like to watch shows like Weeds, Breaking Bad and Nurse Jackie. Family Guy is a favorite. Tosh.O always reels us in. (How can you not be with Daniel's great smile and his devilish demeanor.) We like foreign and independent film. I am a huge enthusiast of Stewart and Colbert. He's not as political as I am and prefers the Food Channel. That Paula Dean is revolutionary in her own way. I'm just not sure what her cause would be. (Most likely a coup d'etat involving butter with some fatback thrown in.) When we are feeling we want to scrape the barrel of popular culture, our guilty pleasure is Cheaters. It's a cautionary and episodic tale that any decent couple should be repelled and drawn to simultaneously. Both of us try to read but get distracted by old Will and Grace episodes or falling asleep. We both enjoy the Huffington Post and a good Vanity Fair article. I feel my job is to keep us informed as to the state of the nation. As of late, it's a depressing job but it needs doing. When it all gets too overwhelming, we go to the beach. He tans and I reflect.

In the future we will definitely do some traveling. ( I will have to sit him down and be firm: "No steamer trunks...We're just going to Sarasota for the weekend...." Italy is a goal. (Not to mention Weeki Wachee.) Our trip to Brazil was great fun and we did well with no fights. I think we'll have a blast when we take off for other corners of the world. (It is often fun for us to just go to Costco and watch people in mismatched outfits. (There's lots of bejeweling in such places.) Plus we can pick up paper towels in bulk and eat hot dogs.)

Most of all, Raphael is wonderful to me. He takes good care of this guy and puts up with my sometimes squally moods. The man is very loving. I couldn't ask for more. I love him too and we watch out for one another. He also laughs at my jokes and that's important. (although, sometimes he just seems like he is laughing at me so it gets confusing. Either way, he seems happy.) It is a pleasure to wake up next to his handsome, sweet face unless its bad morning breath day and he had Jambalaya the night before. He shows me respect and has taught me so much about truly caring and sharing. At almost 54, I have grown up a lot this last year. He has kept me going and held me aloft during an often difficult time of shaky economic and potentially dark political shifts. I can go dark and need to be drug out of the basement from time to time.


So, there you have it. Hopefully, this gives you an idea as to who we are (or aren't.) Happy Anniversary to us and here's to year two! Love you Raphael.