A couple of days ago I must have been in an extremely opiated mood because I actually allowed Sarah Palin's increasingly caricatured face and 'Nails digging into your Retinas' voice to permeate my TV screen. I mean I actually sat at my computer and "LISTENED" and "WATCHED" this modern day She devil as she spewed sarcastic vitriol and homespun detritus at me. At first I was calm and just glumly stared back at her lip gloss and dancing eyes. Stonefaced, I absorbed her blabbering cries of Obamacare! Socialism! Freedom lovers vs America Haters! Drill Baby Drill and 'Targeting' of traitors!
My eyes glazed over as I centered in on the rich vermillion of her suit. It was a form of delicious color Hell and I was privately water boarding my brain while simultaneously numbing out. Suddenly a crack of dawn light seared into my consciousness and I abrubtly woke up. She had tricked me and caught me off guard. Blood rushed back into my cranium. ALL of my auditorium's lights popped on and the psyche was bathed in white. In short, I woke up. Without a hint of warning, I screamed a phrase so vile, so base, so incredibly obscene, that I actually gave myself a shiver. If my words had been gun fire, the television set would have looked like Bonnie and Clyde's car after their massacre.
Not missing a beat, I composed myself and sank back into my desk chair. I inhaled a deep breath and quietly echoed the insane cursing once more under my breath. It was a comforting, reassuring purr of pure disgust. I was like a man who knows he has seen 'real crazy' and he must keep it at bay. You just learn to stay away from it and not open those doors. Unwittingly, I had let them swing free and the darkness sucked me in. Never again. If the Palin comes a knockin,' I go a walkin......' The one second rule applies from this point on: Image seen, Remote button clicked, Said image immediately blocked, land on Comedy Central, Weather Channel, anything!
Let me distill this further. I would rather watch an irritable mother opossom eat her placenta after a messy birth. You get the idea.
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I love this, my face has a terrible rash just now, I thought it was an allergy to my face cream but now I know the cause.....Sarah Painlin's screechy voice. Thanks, Sharon
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